In dealing with the loss of a dear friend or loved one, we experience feelings of loss, sadness, anger, disbelief, the list just goes on and on. We are human, and when we suffer the loss of someone close to our hearts we need to understand that it’s OK to feel these things. It’s OK to allow ourselves to grieve.
The grieving process is a different experience for each of us. It can be fairly short lived, or can seem to go on for such a long time. For some of us, we are able to deal with these feelings and come to peace with our loss only to find that we endure the same grieving process at the anniversary of our loved one’s death. Flooding forward are those same feelings of heaviness, loss, sadness and emptiness just as strong, if not stronger than they were when our loved ones passed on. Again, it’s OK to allow yourself to feel all these emotions. It’s OK to get them out and let them flow. Holding it all in only causes more pain.
Yes, when someone passes away everyone tries their best to say anything possible to comfort us. They are trying to ease our pain. Does it work? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But, the main thing to remember is that these people are doing this out of kindness. They care for you and when you hurt, they hurt. They may not feel the same level of pain and loss you are feeling, but they do hurt for you. I know there are times I’ve just wished I could take the pain away from someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We all have to work through it in our own way but you have to realize that you can not allow yourself to be pulled down to the depths of despair and pain by your sadness. You have to trust that eventually, even if the pain doesn’t totally go away, it does get easier to deal with. You have to trust and know that those whom we truly love and care for the most never truly leave us. They are always with us in our hearts, our thoughts and our fondest memories. They may even become one of our guardian angels helping to watch over and comfort us.
Those who loved us in life would never want us to suffer the pain of extended grieving. They would want happiness, peace and comfort for us. They would want us to honor them by remembering the good things.
During our times of grief we can also always take our sadness to God in prayer. He will hear you and will comfort and help you through. He not only wants you to lay your troubles at His feet, but He commands that you do so. You have to trust that He can and will save you from your sadness.
I leave you with a verse from the Bible:
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
To anyone who is grieving, I am sending thoughts and prayers for strength, comfort, healing and peace. May God wrap you in His love so your pain will be less and you can carry the fond memories of those you have lost close to your heart.
